Feb. 17th, 2013

holyovercoat: (angel of the lord (former))
[from here]

When Castiel looks back, he'll realize this is a worse idea than even agreeing to work with Crowley in the first place. Right now, it's... exciting. Either he feels powerful or he simply feels good in a way he hadn't quite expected, but maybe he should have since humans are so crazy about the act. On some level, he knows it's wrong, or he feels dirty, and whether it's because it's Crowley or sex in general, he couldn't say. He doesn't want to say. He enjoys it, and what's wrong with that? If he keeps his head clear, if he keeps it as something they do casually, what harm could this do?

While he's finishing up with Sam and Dean, he finds his anticipation mounting, and he's already... eager to see Crowley again. No, not Crowley specifically. This isn't about him. This is about Castiel taking something that's being offered because he wants it. He leaves Dean and Sam, and maybe it's abrupt, but he just wants to get away from them, somewhere far away and secure, before he calls Crowley.

"Hello." Once he's on the phone with him, he's not really sure what to say. "Are you busy?"
"I remember being at a shoreline, watching a little grey fish heave itself up on the beach. And an older brother saying, 'Don't step on that fish, Castiel, big plans for that fish.' I remember the Tower of Babel - all 37 feet of it, which I suppose was impressive at the time. And when it fell they howled, Divine Wrath! But come on, dried dung can only be stacked so high."