Castiel (
holyovercoat) wrote2013-02-17 06:21 pm
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my boy builds coffins
[from here]
When Castiel looks back, he'll realize this is a worse idea than even agreeing to work with Crowley in the first place. Right now, it's... exciting. Either he feels powerful or he simply feels good in a way he hadn't quite expected, but maybe he should have since humans are so crazy about the act. On some level, he knows it's wrong, or he feels dirty, and whether it's because it's Crowley or sex in general, he couldn't say. He doesn't want to say. He enjoys it, and what's wrong with that? If he keeps his head clear, if he keeps it as something they do casually, what harm could this do?
While he's finishing up with Sam and Dean, he finds his anticipation mounting, and he's already... eager to see Crowley again. No, not Crowley specifically. This isn't about him. This is about Castiel taking something that's being offered because he wants it. He leaves Dean and Sam, and maybe it's abrupt, but he just wants to get away from them, somewhere far away and secure, before he calls Crowley.
"Hello." Once he's on the phone with him, he's not really sure what to say. "Are you busy?"
When Castiel looks back, he'll realize this is a worse idea than even agreeing to work with Crowley in the first place. Right now, it's... exciting. Either he feels powerful or he simply feels good in a way he hadn't quite expected, but maybe he should have since humans are so crazy about the act. On some level, he knows it's wrong, or he feels dirty, and whether it's because it's Crowley or sex in general, he couldn't say. He doesn't want to say. He enjoys it, and what's wrong with that? If he keeps his head clear, if he keeps it as something they do casually, what harm could this do?
While he's finishing up with Sam and Dean, he finds his anticipation mounting, and he's already... eager to see Crowley again. No, not Crowley specifically. This isn't about him. This is about Castiel taking something that's being offered because he wants it. He leaves Dean and Sam, and maybe it's abrupt, but he just wants to get away from them, somewhere far away and secure, before he calls Crowley.
"Hello." Once he's on the phone with him, he's not really sure what to say. "Are you busy?"
no subject
"I'm not that naive."
He doesn't think he's that naive at all anymore, not in many areas; in sex, yes, but he's working on that and that's what this is all about anyway. It has nothing to do with fondness or a particular attraction to Crowley; he'd simply been convenient, and Castiel can't imagine he would have many hangups about engaging in sexual relations. He's a demon, the king of Hell, and if anyone can have sex for the sake of indulgence, Castiel would imagine he can. That's why he's here and not in another brothel with another Chastity.
This has nothing to do with affection, no fondness; how can he be fond of an abomination like Crowley? He can lie with him, but Castiel will keep his hands clean. That thought made so much sense before, but now, kissing Crowley back, it leaves him unsettled. Guilty, even.
"Is this the end of the..." Sex act? Liason? "Ritual?" In other words, can he go before he spends too long lying in Crowley's arms and thinking about... well, lying?
no subject
"It can be." Crowley settles his head on the pillow, lying still half on top of Castiel. "I wasn't planning to kick you out, though. Sometimes people linger. You'll learn how to tell when you're wanted."
It's the closest Crowley is going to get to telling Castiel that he is wanted. He already wants to kiss Castiel again. He bends his head just enough to kiss his shoulder instead. It's a stupid indulgence and he's letting himself get a little too into this, but he's allowed indulgences here and there and it's unlikely that Castiel will really know enough to call him on it.
The hand that had tugged at Castiel's hair now sifts through it lazily. He doesn't let himself really hope that Castiel will stay, but he can admit to himself that he'd like it.
Together, he and Castiel might just be unstoppable if his plan works. Heaven and Hell and Earth can be theirs.
no subject
Castiel's not naive about many things, but he's not aware either of how powerfully he can talk himself in circles around an issue. He'd been feeling guilty, and he still is, but he's talked himself out of it long enough to kiss Crowley, soft and sensual, and a little sloppy, but he's technically free-styling this, no longer trying to reproduce something he's seen.
"I should return to Heaven. They'll need the direction." His eyes flick over Crowley's face, and whatever fondness there, he chooses to write off as contentment. Crowley's incapable of connections like that, isn't he? He isn't like Dean or Sam.
"I would like to come back. Here." He means the bedroom and Crowley's embrace, though he's not good at explaining that.
no subject
He sighs when Castiel says he should go. He's probably right and Crowley is well aware that Castiel is ever the diligent little soldier. The other angels are probably screwed without him. Castiel's the only one Crowley thinks he'll ever be able to stand.
"Just call ahead. Wouldn't want you catching me in a compromising position." He's mostly teasing. Mostly. He actually doesn't think Castiel would want to catch him with another person any more than he seems to enjoy watching Crowley torture, though he's trying to desensitize him to that, at least. The sex he can let go, though. Truthfully, if Castiel called, he'd likely kick someone out of bed for him. This has been more fun than he's had in ages.
no subject
He needs to leave, but it's hard to get out of bed, where it's comfortable and he's maybe already thinking about returning. But he can't get attached. He's better than this.
He gets out of bed and brings his clothes to him, redressing instantly. The undressing process had been more rewarding the slow way, but he's in a hurry now. Turning around, he nods at Crowley.
"Goodbye." With a flutter of wings, he's gone.
no subject
The bed feels suddenly cold and he pushes himself up to get dressed. If he can't have post-sex warmth, he'll warm himself with some monster's blood.